Ever hung on to something because you were afraid to let go of it?
Meet our (old) toaster. She is approximately 17 years old, I got her sometime in the Spring of 1995. It was a graduation gift from an unknowing person that had no idea I would cry last night because of her.
Yes, I cried. Real, wet, sincere tears.
Why? Why cry over a toaster? One that, for about a year now, could only toast one side of the bread, and struggled to dethaw the waffles? A toaster that is old, crumbly, outdated?
Because. Just because. Because when you boil it all down, it wasn’t about the toaster, or my undying love to a cheap appliance (shocker, huh?). Because I knew, if we got a new one (which we did), it would symbolize me letting go of a season that I still desperately want to keep near to me. When I got that toaster in 1995, my life was simpler. Because, in 1995, my precious Nana still alive, not yet ravaged by the cancer. My mom still healthy, unbroken by wounds of countless surgery, raging infections. It was a world unclouded by career choices, mortgages, stretch marks, and other untold complicated gray areas of life. And because, a deep place within me knew that when I replaced that toaster, my world would be distanced a little farther away from that time.
I know lamenting over a toaster may seem silly. But I bet if you were honest with yourself, we all have those parts of our life we don’t want to let go of. Maybe a jacket that holds a memory, a picture, a perfume. Sometimes, its an attitude, a habit. In my case, it was a season of life. I’m talking about the things we are afraid to move on from because we fear what life would look like if we let go of it. In our fleshly fear, we don’t want to move forward because we fear that what is ahead is not as good as where we’ve been. Like the Israelites wanting to go back to Egypt. Not that everything we let go of was an Egypt-kind of place (slavery of some sort). Some things we don’t want to let go of are, or were, in our minds, the best things. Keep in mind however, that not letting go will become its own place of enslavement, if the Lord has asked you to move. Stated one more time for clarity…not letting go of a place the Lord has asked you to leave is sin. Oh that we would trust the One who knew the end from the beginning!
Time moves swiftly, quickly, without apology. Always has, always will. We best embrace this vapor of time we have on this earth, to step out into His will, his good, perfect will for our life. When we take a step, day by day, we are never far from Him. And Sister, it’s time we believe God for what He has promised to do in us. We cannot hang on to the past and step out in faith toward the future. What we can do, however, is trust that what He gave us, in previous seasons, were good, gracious gifts, and when/if the time comes to let go one of them, we can cherish the memory of it, yet move forward knowing He is holding something else for us. Something better.
A new toaster. It properly toasted the youngest child’s waffle this morning, like it was meant to do. It did not hesitate to jump right in and get busy doing its new job.
He knows, He sees, He is already there. The toaster is just the beginning of this story, and I can’t wait to see what all He has in store. I sense the Lord is calling me into a new season. He placed within me a desire to write and teach years ago, and allowed circumstances that He knew would lead me to proclaim His glory. I humbly submit my life to him in this. My prayer is that He would use it as He sees fit, and bring about the ministry He set in motion before the foundations of the earth were laid. I am praying for the courage to let go of the ‘toasters’ in my life, as I embrace the path set before me. May we not be afraid to let go, may we know the One who always catches us. May we cling to what is good, resist what is evil, and hold tight to He who has saved us.
Thank you Father, in advance for this wild ride with you. May we throw off everything that hinders us and run the race with abandon that you set before us. You alone are God. You alone are Father. And I will praise you all of my days. Amen.